I will be strong enough to carry all
the heavy things you have to haul
around with you when you're a grown-up!"
Happy birthday Isaac. You're a whole 2 years old today! You
are a toddler now! Sadly though I can't see that. Instead I have to accept that
you're growing up in a place of peace and happiness. I imagine you're toddling
around, discovering new things: the scent from the blooming flowers on a summer’s
day, the feel of green grass beneath your little feet, your first naughty taste
of delicious creamy ice cream and birthday cake. I wish I could see all those
tiny milestones. They are things many would take for granted, but to me they
would be truly special to watch. Instead I know that you'll be all set to
celebrate your birthday up above with all your angel pals, watching out for our
balloons floating up towards you.
I wondered what you would be when you grew up. A doctor,
lawyer, teacher like me... Then when I met you those ideas changed. All I
wanted you to be was happy and healthy. Those high expectations vanished in an instance.
I would happily let you grow up and be whatever you wanted to be. All that mattered is that you would be here,
alive and well. Not a lot to ask really
is it?
But it was too much to ask for. I am not allowed to watch my son turn in to a
man. You are growing up in a place where
I can’t see you in. All I can do imagine the life you have up there. The song from Matilda ‘When I grow up’ echoes
in my head as I write this. I hope you
are having ‘treats every day’; eating sweets and climbing trees. I already know
you’re a brave boy so fighting the creatures beneath your bed in heaven will be
a synch!
The one thing I can be sure of is that you will never have
the burden of carrying all the ‘heavy things you have to haul around with you
when you're a grown-up’. No worries or
fears will ever weigh heavy on your mind.
You won’t have to make difficult decisions or deal with any afflictions. There is no loss where you are. No loss.
Instead there is peace, harmony and love. What more could a mother want her son to grow
up in?
Happy birthday my darling Isaac. May your future continue to be filled with
sweets and treats all wrapped up in the love we have for you.
Mummy. XxX
We continue to raise money in Isaac's memory for the Evelina Children's Hospital. If you would like to make a donation please click on the link below which will take you to our 2014-2015 charity page that goes towards our overall total page. Thank you.
http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserPage.action?userUrl=runningforisaac&pageUrl=10
